"There are numerous aetiologies potentially affecting the subthalamic nucleus (or other strategic areas) that have been implicated in this syndrome 1-5:"
Line 15:4·Don't start a sentence with 'There are'.
Inline EG
suggestion
"vasculitis (e.g. due to systemic lupus erythematosus)"
Line 25:16·Consider replacing a bracketed e.g. with an inline e.g. after a comma.