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Acronyms

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"Pickwickian syndrome, also known as obesity hypoventilation syndrome (OHS), comprises the triad of obesity (BMI ≥30 kg/m²), daytime hypoventilation (awake hypercapnia and hypoxaemia), and sleep-disordered breathing in the absence of alternative explanations (e.g. severe parenchymal lung disease, mechanical or metabolic abnormalities)."

Line 1:173 · 'BMI' has no definition. Spell it out if it's unfamiliar to the audience.

EG List And

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"Pickwickian syndrome, also known as obesity hypoventilation syndrome (OHS), comprises the triad of obesity (BMI ≥30 kg/m²), daytime hypoventilation (awake hypercapnia and hypoxaemia), and sleep-disordered breathing in the absence of alternative explanations (e.g. severe parenchymal lung disease, mechanical or metabolic abnormalities)."

Line 1:339 · An e.g. list gives selected examples, so it should not end with 'and' or 'or': 'e.g. severe parenchymal lung disease, mechanical or'.

Parentheses

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"Pickwickian syndrome, also known as obesity hypoventilation syndrome (OHS), comprises the triad of obesity (BMI ≥30 kg/m²), daytime hypoventilation (awake hypercapnia and hypoxaemia), and sleep-disordered breathing in the absence of alternative explanations (e.g. severe parenchymal lung disease, mechanical or metabolic abnormalities)."

Line 1:98 · Use parentheses judiciously. There are at least 3 sets in this paragraph.

Inline EG

suggestion

"Pickwickian syndrome, also known as obesity hypoventilation syndrome (OHS), comprises the triad of obesity (BMI ≥30 kg/m²), daytime hypoventilation (awake hypercapnia and hypoxaemia), and sleep-disordered breathing in the absence of alternative explanations (e.g. severe parenchymal lung disease, mechanical or metabolic abnormalities)."

Line 1:338 · Consider replacing a bracketed e.g. with an inline e.g. after a comma.

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